Family arguments can leave you angry and uncomfortable. You may not be able to avoid them, but you can learn to lessen their negative effects and find effective solutions. They can also be valuable learning opportunities.
Consider these skills and lessons you can learn from family arguments:
- Listen. It’s easy to lose control and let your feelings take over during an argument. However, when you listen to one another and truly hear their concerns, then you can address them better. This will help you find a solution that works for everyone involved.
- Manage your anger. Feeling anger at some point is common to all human beings. Arguments provide an opportunity to learn how to effectively control this emotion and show your children the value of this control.
- Be specific. Vague comments or ideas rarely produce the positive results you seek. But when you describe specific actions or words that upset you, those challenges can be addressed.
- Focus on one issue. It’s tempting to bring up all of your issues and concerns during family arguments. However, this can lead to more issues instead of helping. Focusing on one issue at a time gives you a chance to solve that one. Then you can go on to another one.
- Express your views. Communication is essential to solving issues, and you have to talk to make it work. If you tend to be silent and hold your feelings or thoughts inside, then family arguments may encourage you to talk and discuss them with others.
- Learn the truth about winning. Sometimes in family arguments, you may not have a clear winner. Family arguments can show you that on some occasions you lose and on others, you win. They can also show you that victory doesn’t always accomplish everything you want.
- Use evidence. Accusations or ideas that aren’t based on facts can lead to tremendous challenges. Instead of fighting about an idea, you can present real evidence and stop the arguments. Solutions come faster and easier when based on facts and evidence.
- Compromise. Family arguments can teach you more about compromises. When you find a solution together, some people may need to compromise on what they want, but the solution is still more workable than the argument that preceded it. The family group as a whole benefits.
It’s not easy to avoid family arguments. However, you can learn from them and grow as a family. These lessons are valuable tools. They can also help you and your family members in school, business, and other areas of life.
